A terrible thing happened when I was 16. I was raped. For so long it was a part of who I was. It controlled my life, made it hard for me to be in a relationship, and it held me back from the person that I wanted to be. Most importantly and sadly I let it define me.
The journey of recovery isn’t easy, its frustrating. But it doesn’t mean that you can’t do it. I think that it takes an every day reminder that you can push through the feelings of self hate, or worthlessness.
You have to remember that it isn’t your fault and that it’s not about what you could or should have done. It’s about what that person should not have done to you.
It’s easy to be angry and to hold onto hate. To be influenced by the media who tells us what we should be doing. The hard truth is that it can happen to anyone even if you do everything “Right.”
Rape is not okay. I would never wish it upon anyone. No one deserves to have their power taken away from them.
One thing that I have to say to survivors is that I’m proud of you. Even accepting what has happened to you is a step and with this you can only move forward. Do not give up, even when you are frustrated. Even if it feels like the flash backs will never go away. They will go away and the journey will get better with every step that you willingly take. You have the right to feel how you feel.
Finally, I think that it takes great compassion to move forward by forgiving the person who did this to you. To look at that person with humble eyes. To tell yourself that something must have happened in their life to make them think that this act is okay.
You will reach this point. You just have to push yourself. Be the better person and know that you are not alone along your journey. That’s what Brave Babes is here to show you.
I am Ashley. I am Brave. I love and accept myself.